Dear Editor

Dear Quotation Marks,

You might make up 90% of the punctuation in my books, but you really are obnoxious.
That's all.

Shifting up,
Author

Dear Stories in my Head,

I know you're in there. I also know you are eagerly waiting to come out. Right? Hello?
Seriously, I know you're there. Come on novels, show yourselves!!!

Sigh,
Frustrated Writer

Dear Already Published Books,

Okay, so your siren call will no longer work on me. I have my own stories to tell and I can't be all distracted by you and your cleverly written plots and discount prices on Amazon Kindle. Really, this has got to stop. I don't have time for this.

Seriously,
Just One More Novel

Dear Protagonist,

I'm sorry I've made it so hard for you to obtain your goal, but really you'll thank me in the end when you've grown and gained strength that you didn't know you had. I promise it will all be worth it . . . well okay most of it will be worth it.

Sincerely,
Author