Why is it when you are finished that I have to start thinking about and even sketching notes for your prequel? Aren't four books enough?
How in the world am I supposed to use you correctly? I'm not even sure I understand your rules and regulations for use. Please explain.
I'm tired of solving your problems. Solve them yourselves and then get back to me with the answers so I can continue your stories.
Dear Fantasy Publishers,
I promise you really will like my story. Many readers have agreed. I know you tend toward the outrageously fantastical, but I really think my story will make a smash hit. Please accept me.
You really are evil. What kind of a person would do the things you do? How can you live with yourself?