Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Dear Editor

Dear New Characters,

Maybe you haven't gotten the memo yet, but I'm the author. You really should do what I tell you, except for the fact that what you end up doing is probably so much better than what I would have told you in the first place. So, I guess you just go on doing what you're doing and I'll deal with it.

Okay, I guess you can ignore the memo. Apparently I'm not the author, I'm just the crazy writer who reads books in her head and happens to write down what goes on in there. In fact, maybe, I'm just crazy. Well, not really crazy, everything has a purpose and of course eventually I will find out what that purpose is, but of course it will be by the end of the book and by that time I really will be going crazy and then I'll reach the end of your story and think this is the end. That's the point when you laugh your evil (well I guess you're the protagonist so your laugh isn't evil) laugh and kindly inform me that this is only book one of three.

It might as well be book one of 100 because now I have to go through the pain and frustration of writing all the rest of your story before I can find out what FINALLY happens and through it all you'll be put through pain and suffering both mental and physical because of course your story would be really boring without all the pain and suffering stuff.

And of course the pain and suffering I put you through is payback for the fact that you aren't a stand alone book and there are at least two more books I have to write. Really, that's just mean. Why can't you just resolve your issues in 80,000 words? Oh, because there are two of you and you both have to make sure you have equal protagonist rights. Got it. So not only do I have to give you equal rights and attention you both have to have your own book and your own sets of troubles, trials, and suffering.

Then to make things worse you go and complicate matters in the entire Seven Realms, so OF COURSE, now I have to write a whole third book just to resolve the problems you really started by being who you are. To top all that off I had to go and create a whole world with crazy cities and towns with weird names and naming characters that have gifts and issues. It's not easy you know. I do have a full time job that I have to work and a life beyond my writing. How do you expect me to function when you are constantly there in the back of my mind taunting me with your story and the excitement of something new and wondrous.

Why can't we all just get along really? I could resolve you in 10,000 more words, but of course you would the most boring story ever and we can't have that. Ugh. I knew when I had that dream to get you started that I should have just stuck with the 50,000 word romance. What was I thinking? Apparently I wasn't. (sigh)

Grudgingly yours,

Melanie Mason, Author

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