Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

As you know I tend to struggle with mother's day with being single and all and of course it's not my favorite holiday since you've been gone, but after thinking about things for a while I decided to write you a letter.

I miss you! I just have to say that up front because of all the things on Mother's Day that hurt, this one is the most. I miss being able to visit and surprise you. I miss getting your hugs and smiles and seeing your face light up when you are around your family. I even miss your lectures on all the things that might help me in my life. I think I especially miss those. I miss your laugh and the times that we would both laugh so hard that we would cry and you would almost have an asthma attack. I miss talking with you about things that are important to me and getting your insight.

I'm sad that you will never read my books here on earth, though I know you would enjoy most of them and I know you are probably reading over my shoulder. I'm sad that I will never be able to talk to you about boys, and dating, and planning my wedding, and about having kids, and that you will never see my children born. (Though I know you are probably hanging out with them.)

I'm sad that you won't get the chance to visit me here in the Northwest and see all the amazing flowers that I know you would absolutely love and the waterfalls and the river and all the beauty I get to see every day, though I hope you are watching from above.

I suppose that my little rantings here are enough, since there are many people in the world that miss their mothers every minute of every hour of every day and I was lucky enough to have you a part of my life for 33 years. I hope I have lived up to your expectations of me as an adult and the things that I need to improve on I will improve on.

I guess as I write this the whole reason is to let you know how much I miss you and wish you were still here. I miss having my mom and it hurts me inside. I've been so lucky and I guess that is why it hurts so much. This Mother's Day seems harder than the others, I don't know why and I'm sort of glad it's over. I don't want you to worry about me though because I have wonderful family and friends that have been so kind and loving since you left us. Mothers, siblings, and friends whom I have come to depend on. I'm so grateful.

I hope where ever you are you are looking down on me from time to time because I'm sure you are very busy up there. Know that I love you so much and though I'm glad you are no longer suffering down here, I do wish you were still with us. I love you so much and miss you even more!



1 comment:

Sharina said...

Melanie, No doubt about it, you have a gift for words. We love you! Thanks for sharing the thoughts of your heart. I think about you a lot and pray the Lord in his plans for you has the most amazing and wonderful man so ready for you!!!